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The Sirens 
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Burning Godzilla
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Joined: Sun Dec 16, 2001 2:48 am
Posts: 5000
Location: Brighton, MI
The Sirens

2009 release, on a disc called INDIE MOVIE MASTERS -- oh hell, here's the IMDb link: https://www.amazon.com/Sirens-Murderer/dp/B001JL96H2

CLIFFIE'S NOTES:

I sent for this one because it says on the box that it's filmed in BLOOD VISION and because one of the movies on the disc is supposed to be about sirens -- I was hoping it would make a good review for Cliffie's Notes. Fond hope, too quickly banish'd! SIRENS is wildly uneven at best, and overall, well, just unconvincing and sucky. Filmed on a buck-ninety-eight budget, there are no sirens in this story in the classical sense of alluring sea creatures who draw men to a watery doom with their irresistible singing voices. That's what I was hoping for. Instead, I got a bunch of thirtysomething guys in cheap suits, perched on ageing Rent-A-Center furniture in a cheap, ugly-a$$ apartment, sitting around gloating over their wealth, power and their ability to downsize all who oppose them. Then they decide to have a little party to celebrate this delusion and call Persephone's Escort Service, because like any wealthy, powerful men in this world, they can't get girlfriends. In short order, in troops a group of utterly ordinary-looking women in evening wear. The guys have them sit on the sofa and they start half-heartedly ogling each other, failing to convince me in any way that they are truly interested in getting some action. Persephone's sirenical employees, who all have Greek names, don't even pretend to be interested in the men the way real hookers would try to do.

While this is going on, one of the guys wanders out of the apartment because he hears singing out in the hallway, asks the women he finds there what the singing was about, and when they deny having sung anything he follows them back to their place. This house at least has nice woodwork and some prints on the walls to make it look as if someone lived there -- many notches above the abysmal place where the party was going on. Those two gals, who speak in a stilted, goofy way ("yes, indeed, my sister"), proceed to tie up the titan of industry and start licking his nipples.

After this it's supposed to get scary and horrific, but it just doesn't.

Sigh.

All I can say is, thank Scrod this movie was only 29 minutes long.

_________________
Guy in bar: "I got 50 dollars in my pocket saying you're coming home with me tonight."
Girl in bar: "They're lying to you."
(from Psychos In Love)

Sample piscatorial love at Cliffie's Notes! Now in blog form for the greater good of the Fish Conspiracy!


Sat May 06, 2017 8:17 pm
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Burning Godzilla
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Joined: Mon Sep 30, 2002 5:35 am
Posts: 2529
Location: Chattanooga TN
So how was Murderer?

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Dark tears for is alabaster muse lost forever into the unforgiving jade daggers of the night. Her slim form no longer to touch his burning lips, her blood like the thorny rose no longer his, O Death! O Oblivion! Why havent you come! I wait in my garden of shadows for thee! -- Juniper releases her inner Goth.


Sat May 06, 2017 8:48 pm
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Burning Godzilla
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Joined: Sun Dec 16, 2001 2:48 am
Posts: 5000
Location: Brighton, MI
I only watched the first few frames and then went out to do yardwork. It looks not much better.

_________________
Guy in bar: "I got 50 dollars in my pocket saying you're coming home with me tonight."
Girl in bar: "They're lying to you."
(from Psychos In Love)

Sample piscatorial love at Cliffie's Notes! Now in blog form for the greater good of the Fish Conspiracy!


Sun May 07, 2017 8:43 pm
Profile WWW
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