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Vampyres (1974) 
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Joined: Fri Oct 16, 2015 7:53 am
Posts: 228
Location: Woodstock, IL
There are certain films that are advertised as pushing the boundaries of
what is acceptable in the cinema. Sometimes these flicks really do what they are advertised as being.
However, most often what you have is a case of false advertising since the movie hardly even lives up
to its own billing. One such motion picture is the 1974 effort Vampyres.

José Ramón Larraz's Vampyres (1974) centers on a
contemporary pair of lesbian bloodsuckers (one of them a certified
Playmate) lounging around and luring victims into an abandoned country
estate. The payoff here is the genuine sense of foggy landscape, antique
locale, and historical frisson you get from cut-rate matinee Euro-trips
that cannot afford to fake very much—in this universe, bad lighting only
ramps up the moodiness.

For all of the classic Gothic atmospherics, Vampyres is also deficient
in other ways. There is little traditional vampire lore in this flick. These
gals have little problem running around in broad daylight. They also do not turn into
bats. The filmmakers really seem to have gone out of their way to minimize the
suspense and scares that one has come to expect from vampire flicks.

What basically transpires in this flick are a pair of hot blooded
females grabbing each other in exercises in unintentional comedy that are
supposed to be lesbian love scenes. This is supposed to be the lesbian vampire
version of Natural Born Killers but without any explicit violence. These gals make
for pretty unconvincing lesbians and they hardly fare any better as vampires
either. Their acting talents are pretty much nonexistent. Its too bad that the
Golden Raspberry Award did not exist back then because these two chicks are quite
deserving for the Worst Actress category.

For instance, whenever Fran (Marianne Morris) engages in kissing, she
makes weird sucking motions just like she was a fish out of water gasping for
air. Truly a performance for the ages. The only response that an audience could possibly have
when these two women get intimate is to have gales of laughter. While being
intimate, Fran also acts like a dog sniffing around for something to mess around with.

There are also a number of interesting ideas in this movie. For
instance, shooting lesbians will not kill them. Instead, it will turn them into
vampires. Also, prostitutes in the countryside are uniquely dangerous, aside from
the possibility' of your picking up a disease from any of them. Also, lesbian vampires
are in the habit of having their tomb far away from their castle.

Vampyres is basically a stupid, poorly made movie. Some might like it
for its unintentional humor. However, most folks will not like it, not even as
a time waster. This is a movie that you should be wary of.

Sat Jan 21, 2017 11:17 pm
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