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Burning Godzilla
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Hman wrote:
The Angry Birds Movie - Meh. In these days of cleverly-written animated films that seamlessly juggle humor aimed at different age groups, I was expecting the writers to find hilarious ways to mine humor from the concept of birds knocking over buildings. Instead, all that is relegated to about five minutes in the last act, with the first two acts dedicated mainly to a ramshackle subplot involving the Mighty Eagle; a pointless, trite moral about believing in yourself; and far too much humor derived from pee jokes, snot jokes and fart jokes. There's far too much build-up to far too little pay off in terms of Angry Birds destroying stuff. I guess my favorite part is the scene where Red is at the anger management class and the white bird starts reading Terence's background, growing more and more horrified as she does so.


What I really want to know about this movie is why they cast Sean Penn to do the voice of a character who has no dialogue, and just grunts and groans through the whole movie.

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Sat Jan 21, 2017 6:01 pm
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Burning Godzilla
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keiichi wrote:
Hman wrote:
The Angry Birds Movie - Meh. In these days of cleverly-written animated films that seamlessly juggle humor aimed at different age groups, I was expecting the writers to find hilarious ways to mine humor from the concept of birds knocking over buildings. Instead, all that is relegated to about five minutes in the last act, with the first two acts dedicated mainly to a ramshackle subplot involving the Mighty Eagle; a pointless, trite moral about believing in yourself; and far too much humor derived from pee jokes, snot jokes and fart jokes. There's far too much build-up to far too little pay off in terms of Angry Birds destroying stuff. I guess my favorite part is the scene where Red is at the anger management class and the white bird starts reading Terence's background, growing more and more horrified as she does so.


What I really want to know about this movie is why they cast Sean Penn to do the voice of a character who has no dialogue, and just grunts and groans through the whole movie.


May it was an Andy Kaufman joke that was only funny to Sean Penn.

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Sat Jan 21, 2017 9:07 pm
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X-Men: Apocalypse (2016) - Well, that was disappointing. There was a lot of good in this movie, but FAR TOO MANY characters, which doesn't work because it makes much of the coherency of the story dependent on your knowledge of the previous films *and* the comics themselves. The first half is spent introducing all the characters and the conflict in separate story threads, but with characters like Psylocke and Storm, we never fully understand their motives for allying themselves to Apocalypse. Professor X disappears for much of the first half after he goes to Langley after Moira MacTaggert. Characters like Jubilee show up for no other reason than for people to say, "Look! It's Jubilee! Look! She's not in the movie anymore!" And don't even get me started on the 20-minute interlude involving Commander Stryker and the Weapon X project that serves no purpose but to guarantee us that yes, the events of X-Men Origins: Wolverine never happened (much like the previous film wiped X-Men: The Last Stand from the timeline). The already overlong movie could've had that sequence axed without losing anything at all.

Fanboy rant: When I found out that one of Callisto's flunkies in Brett Ratner's movie was Psylocke, I thought, "Huh. That was dumb of him to treat a beloved character like that." And yet, Psylocke's character being wasted in this movie is even more disappointing. Why go through the trouble of hiring an attractive actress, covering her body in lube to get that reasonably faithful costume on, and then have her do almost nothing interesting with that katana and psychic blade?

Finally, there's a goofy scene where the younger students are leaving a showing Return of the Jedi and talking about how the third movie in any given trilogy tends to be the worst. That was obviously a jab at X-Men: The Last Stand, but as this movie was the third film in the second trilogy, it becomes one of those "You suck, MacGruber!" moments where the dialog describes the film itself.

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Sun Jan 22, 2017 7:20 pm
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What's Eating Gilbert Grape? - Not only features an astonishing feature film showcase, and well-deserved Oscar nomination, for Leonardo DiCaprio, but it's about the best I've seen out of Johnny Depp and Juliette Lewis. It also has one of the more outstanding casts ever for a movie. Crispin Glover, John C. Reilley, Mary Steenburgen, and Kevin Tighe are all outstanding.

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Mon Jan 23, 2017 8:16 pm
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THE FOUNDER - The Founder was, at one time, being groomed by The Weinstein Company as a big Award Season movie. But, for whatever reason, the studio got cold feet, and is now dumping it in January with little fanfare. I honestly can't imagine why. This is a great little movie, with a captivating lead performance by Michael Keaton. In all honestly, I ended up liking this much more than Lion (which I did enjoy), the movie the Weinsteins did choose to be their Award hopeful.

Even if it lost out on the chance of being one of the great films of 2016, it is now officially the first great film of 2017. It tells the true story of Ray Kroc (Keaton), a middle-aged fast-talking salesman who in 1954, was struggling to make ends meet by working on the road and selling milkshake mixers to largely uninterested clients. His life and his fortunes took a turn when he discovered a revolutionary little burger stand in California run by two forward-thinking, but naive, brothers. Their restaurant, called McDonald's, was unlike anything at the time, creating a streamlined cooking process that could have your order in seconds instead of a half hour, and dreaming up many ideas that would become staples of the fast food world, such as having the food packed in wrappers, and a walk up window to order food from. The film tells the story of how Ray appealed to the brothers to franchise the business, and then slowly but surely took total control of their empire by doing things on his terms, and generally rewriting history.

The success of the movie is credited to two crucial elements. First, there's the incredibly smart screenplay by Robert Siegel (The Wrestler), which is not only sunny and breezy, but also incredibly funny in a very dark way. It views Kroc as somewhat of a smooth talking con artist who knew all the angles, and how to get what he wanted, while essentially cheating certain people out of what was rightfully theirs. But at the same time, he comes across as being charismatic, and well, kind of likable. This is thanks to the second element, which is Keaton's performance. His casting can only be labeled a stroke of genius, as he is able to make Kroc into somewhat of a shady character, but an undeniably charming one, who knew how to talk people into working with or for him.

The Founder is strongly compelling, and one of the rare times I wanted a movie to be longer, as I thought there was even more to the story that could have been told. It's so perfectly paced and well written, you can't help but want more. The movie ends up being memorable, not just because it's a great movie being released in a month usually reserved for sludge, but also because it's just a great story that I'm surprised Hollywood didn't try to tell sooner.

Full review on Reel Opinions.

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Mon Jan 23, 2017 11:43 pm
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Rats: Night of Terror (1984) In this hilariously bad dubbed Italian post-apocalyptic movie a group of Road Warrior rejects make a pit stop at what looks to be your average abandoned building only to find out that killer rats have taken up residence. This is one of those movies that's almost worth suffering through all the incredible stupidity on display just to get to that WTF ending. This film is only for bad movie lovers who relish terrible dialog, bad acting, and incomprehensible screenplays. Any sane movie viewers should stay clear of this thing.

You can read my full review here: Rats: Night of Terror

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Tue Jan 24, 2017 11:55 am
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Rocket Raccoon and Groot Steal the Galaxy by Dan Abnett is a Graphic Audio production and it is very fun and well produced. Its a full cast recording audio book with excellent sound effects, voice actors, and some solid writing from Abnett. One can tell that Abnett is trying his hand at being Douglas Adams with some of his off the wall diversions and tangents. And while they don't quite reach the heights of Adams' best work, it is not hack work. Abnett is pretty good.

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Wed Jan 25, 2017 10:02 pm
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Cleopatra- Yeah, the one with Liz Taylor that is 4 hours long. Hollywood doesn't make movies like this anymore. Rex Harrison as Caesar is electric! Liz Taylor is amazing in the first half of this! Once Caesar leaves the scene things get a bit shakier. However, I was entertained the whole way and pretty much hung on every piece of dialogue and word. Great performances all around.

Dang, I love epics.

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Thu Jan 26, 2017 10:44 pm
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Easy E wrote:
Cleopatra- Yeah, the one with Liz Taylor that is 4 hours long. Hollywood doesn't make movies like this anymore. Rex Harrison as Caesar is electric! Liz Taylor is amazing in the first half of this! Once Caesar leaves the scene things get a bit shakier. However, I was entertained the whole way and pretty much hung on every piece of dialogue and word. Great performances all around.

Dang, I love epics.


Hollywood doesn't make them like this anymore because making this film nearly destroyed everyone involved, studio and actors alike. Not that they learned their lessons, but people don't like to build on scorched earth.

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Thu Jan 26, 2017 10:48 pm
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I reviewed this some years ago and noted that it may be the most expensive film ever made, in real dollars. It was claimed to have cost 270 million in 1999 dollars.

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Thu Jan 26, 2017 10:58 pm
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Destoroyah
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Mr. Paradox wrote:
Easy E wrote:
Cleopatra- Yeah, the one with Liz Taylor that is 4 hours long. Hollywood doesn't make movies like this anymore. Rex Harrison as Caesar is electric! Liz Taylor is amazing in the first half of this! Once Caesar leaves the scene things get a bit shakier. However, I was entertained the whole way and pretty much hung on every piece of dialogue and word. Great performances all around.

Dang, I love epics.


Hollywood doesn't make them like this anymore because making this film nearly destroyed everyone involved, studio and actors alike. Not that they learned their lessons, but people don't like to build on scorched earth.


It only adds to the films charms. :lol:

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Fri Jan 27, 2017 9:50 pm
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LA LA LAND - La La Land is easily the most effortlessly charming movie I have seen in years. It's a dizzying, joyous, and vibrant musical that positively leaps off the screen with the kind of life few films possess. Whenever a movie earns the kind of praise that this one has during the months leading up to Award Season, it's easy to be skeptical, but I implore you to believe the hype here. And if you can, see it on the big screen. It's one of the few films I can think of that truly deserves to be seen in a theater with a crowd lost under its spell.

This is writer-director Damien Chazelle's second major feature, after his breakthrough debut, 2014's Whiplash. If his first film proved that he could make a powerful and intimate drama, then here he proves that he can create a truly unforgettable cinematic musical dream. It's the kind of leap from one film to the next that makes you excited to see what else he can do, and also a little nervous. I don't want to see this guy get chewed up by the Studio System, or hashing out forgettable franchises. In just this one movie, he puts so much heart and wonder into it, you just hope you never have to see him working with his hands tied. This is a filmmaker who deserves to be let free, and let his imagination carry his films wherever it will take them. If his first two movies are any indication, audiences are in for one heck of an experience.

Full review over on Reel Opinions.

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"By Milk Kitchen (is no dead)" - The last thing one sees while watching "Sawai Miyuu's You".

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Sat Jan 28, 2017 1:52 am
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Burning Godzilla
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keiichi wrote:
LA LA LAND - La La Land is easily the most effortlessly charming movie I have seen in years. It's a dizzying, joyous, and vibrant musical that positively leaps off the screen with the kind of life few films possess. Whenever a movie earns the kind of praise that this one has during the months leading up to Award Season, it's easy to be skeptical, but I implore you to believe the hype here. And if you can, see it on the big screen. It's one of the few films I can think of that truly deserves to be seen in a theater with a crowd lost under its spell.

This is writer-director Damien Chazelle's second major feature, after his breakthrough debut, 2014's Whiplash. If his first film proved that he could make a powerful and intimate drama, then here he proves that he can create a truly unforgettable cinematic musical dream. It's the kind of leap from one film to the next that makes you excited to see what else he can do, and also a little nervous. I don't want to see this guy get chewed up by the Studio System, or hashing out forgettable franchises. In just this one movie, he puts so much heart and wonder into it, you just hope you never have to see him working with his hands tied. This is a filmmaker who deserves to be let free, and let his imagination carry his films wherever it will take them. If his first two movies are any indication, audiences are in for one heck of an experience.

Full review over on Reel Opinions.


But what is it about? I can't find anything about that amongst all the praise, and I don't watch movies blind.

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"Times have not become more violent. They have just become more televised." - Brian Warner

"Marlowe's overreacting, Marlowe's taking it wrong, Marlowe's lighting kittens on fire again..." - Marlowe, on how the rest of the board sees him

"What we have here is one hellaciously well-built monument." - Bergerjacques, on the Lincoln Memorial

"Folks, we need a way to get Uwe Boll to inadvertantly touch Tony Jaa's elephant." - Beggar So's Hat speaks truth


Sat Jan 28, 2017 2:07 am
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Burning Godzilla
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Mr. Paradox wrote:
keiichi wrote:
LA LA LAND - La La Land is easily the most effortlessly charming movie I have seen in years. It's a dizzying, joyous, and vibrant musical that positively leaps off the screen with the kind of life few films possess. Whenever a movie earns the kind of praise that this one has during the months leading up to Award Season, it's easy to be skeptical, but I implore you to believe the hype here. And if you can, see it on the big screen. It's one of the few films I can think of that truly deserves to be seen in a theater with a crowd lost under its spell.

This is writer-director Damien Chazelle's second major feature, after his breakthrough debut, 2014's Whiplash. If his first film proved that he could make a powerful and intimate drama, then here he proves that he can create a truly unforgettable cinematic musical dream. It's the kind of leap from one film to the next that makes you excited to see what else he can do, and also a little nervous. I don't want to see this guy get chewed up by the Studio System, or hashing out forgettable franchises. In just this one movie, he puts so much heart and wonder into it, you just hope you never have to see him working with his hands tied. This is a filmmaker who deserves to be let free, and let his imagination carry his films wherever it will take them. If his first two movies are any indication, audiences are in for one heck of an experience.

Full review over on Reel Opinions.


But what is it about? I can't find anything about that amongst all the praise, and I don't watch movies blind.


Like I said in my review, it's a Hollywood homage to itself. Technically, it's about an aspiring actress who meets an aspiring jazz club owner and they fall in love, will each other to success, and pay the price for doing so. But it's mostly about the cinematography, choreography, and overall upbeat fantasy mood it creates.

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Sun Jan 29, 2017 2:39 am
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